As if sleep deprivation and hourly diaper blow-outs aren't enough, dressing her post-baby body can reduce a new mother to a weeping mess. After months of wearing polyester smocks, trying to shove your now-unfamiliar shape into your old size 10 jeans is agonizing.

Most new moms feel ambivalent at best about their bodies. Yes, it is a miracle machine, creating a brand-new person. I mean, wow -- your body made a human being from scratch. Amazing! But the process wreaks havoc on your abdomen and bottom.

In fact, a survey of 7,000 new mothers revealed that more than half of that number felt their body image worsened after becoming a mom. To make matters worse, high expectations make it even harder to cope with the postpartum bod -- 65 percent of mothers expected to be back to their fighting weight by the baby's first birthday, but a poll of mothers of 1- and 2-year-olds showed that more than half of them were still carrying extra pounds.

OK, so there's a little more junk in the trunk than there used to be. A girl still has to get dressed.

My problem is that I always tell myself I'll wait, and buy new clothes when I lose the weight. Ha! Lose the weight! So I'll be buying new clothes when my son is, what, 18? This time, I vowed not to pretend that I'll lose 20 pounds in two months.

The first step to dressing your new body is honesty. I'm not a size 10 anymore. And my hours and hours of watching What Not To Wear during nocturnal feedings helped me realize that size, in this case, doesn't matter. Do the clothes fit you? Then ignore the number.

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Are you a mom? Do you Twitter? Would you like to meet other moms who Twitter?

Twitter is a social networking site that allows participants to engage in "microblogging." Twitterers post updates that may not exceed 140 characters; the trick is to be funny or engaging or provocative in as few words as possible. Other Twitter members can follow you and read your updates, and you can do the same. Twitter is like blogging, but faster and more concise and possibly more personal.

Twitter just might be the future of blogging.

One Twitter member, Megan Calhoun, saw an opportunity to bring moms together via the 140 character update; in September, she founded Twittermoms, an online community for moms who Twitter. Calhoun says that as with most mommy blogs, Twittermoms was born out of a desire to create community. "As a stay at home mom, you sometimes don't get enough adult interaction during the day. Twitter was great for connecting with friends, and I noticed a lot of moms on it – but no easy way to learn more about them, or make decisions about who would be really interesting to connect with on Twitter." Her husband joked that she needed to start a site to fill that niche, and so, on September 2, Calhoun did. "I added the URL to my Twitter.com profile and the next morning we had four members. A month later, membership rushed past 2,200 active members. A cool new mom joins every few minutes. It's been quite a rush!"

When I married the first time, I was quite young and didn't think twice about taking my husband's last name as my own. That's what a woman does when she marries, right? But when I married again nearly 20 years later, I didn't even consider taking my new husband's name. Well, maybe I considered it. But after realizing that he didn't care what I called myself, I knew that I would always and forever be a Maple. What we didn't discuss during those pre-marital negotiations was him taking my last name.

I don't think he would have done it even if I had suggested it, but there are men who would - and do - happily change their last names to that of their wives. There are no real statistics on the subject, but anecdotal evidence suggests that this might even be a trend. And while this trend my seem terribly modern to some, it was actually not uncommon in 14th and 15th century England for men to take their wives' last names if hers was more prominent.

These days, I imagine a man would have a better reason than popularity to exchange the name he was born with for his wife's. Maybe hers is easier to pronounce. Maybe a hyphenated version of both their names would be long and awkward. Or maybe he just likes her name better. I understand why couples want to have the same last name - to show they are united as a family and for the sake of the children. But I see no reason why it must be his last name. Do you?

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Pea coats are classic winter wear, perfect for blustery football Saturdays. This is is especially flattering because the side tabs create a nice waistline, while the asymmetrical collar makes this more hip than prep.

Lane Bryant side tab pea coat, $189.50. Available in black, camel (shown here) and camel gray. Also available in brown tweed.

Parkas used to be reserved for skiing or sledding, but no more; now the parka is perfectly appropriate for everyday wear, even over a skirt. Pair with cool knee-high boots for a rugged look that's still feminine, or just pair your parka with jeans and a sweater for warmth.

JCPenney a. n. a. satin down parka, $99.00 - $109.00. Available in black, sable brown, and marshmallow (shown here) in Misses and Plus sizes.

Full-length coats are impractical for day, but a walking coat is a nice option if you're looking for something a little more refined and ladylike. This one hits about mid-thigh, which makes it perfect with a skirt or dress and with jeans. And who can resist that classic Preppie look?

Lands' End wool walking coat, $172.50. Available in six neutral shades, in misses, petite, and plus sizes.

Trench coats are wardrobe must; the trench goes with everything and will never go out of style. This is a great coat for working moms because it is equally at home in the office or on the playground. And this version from the Gap, with the cool herringbone pattern, is perfect for fall and winter.

Herringbone trench coat, $148.00 at the Gap. Available online only.

Sometimes, you just don't feel like putting your parka over a dress -- you want a grown up, dressed up coat for dinner out or Sunday brunch. This is the perfect coat for those days. The retro lines, the pop of green -- this isn't an everyday coat, but how fun would it be to pull this on for a girls' night out?

Tommy Hilfiger single-breasted retro coat, $275.00 currently $206.00. Also available in black, but if you're going to do it, why not go for the green?

Winter is just around the corner which means that it's time to think about coats, because one morning soon you're going to wake up and it's going to be freezing outside. By this time of year, most moms have triple checked to be sure the kids all have coats that fit; now it's time to take a look at your options.

If you're buying a basic workhorse winter coat, choose a style that you will be able to wear lots of ways -- with jeans and dresses and everything in between. Choose a coat that will fit well over a sweater but don't assume that bigger means better; look for fitted shapes with roomy arm holes. If this is going to be your go-to coat, choose a neutral shade, and keep in mind that darker colors won't show stains as dramatically.

But don't skimp on style -- if you're going to wear this coat everywhere for the next four (or five or six or more) months, look for great details like beautiful buttons or an unexpected lining. And invest in a well-made coat, one that won't wear out before the winter is over.

We've found five options, all for under $300.00. Four are pragmatic enough for everyday, and the fifth is so darn cute that you might not be able to resist.

Babysitters aren't cheap these days and on top of the actual cost you have to figure in the hassle of finding one, instructing them, and, possibly driving them home afterwards. But suppose you've done all that and now you and your significant other are free (Wheee!) for the evening -- what do you do to make the most of the night? How about a movie? Oh, sure, so you can pay seven bucks to listen to someone else's kids just because they couldn't get a babysitter?

There's an alternative, now, if you live near Chicago. Gold Class Cinemas is opening a new theatre that features reclining arm chairs and full waiter service. The theatre will offer wine -- including a $295 bottle of Dom Perignon champagne -- and comestibles such as duck tacos and Wagyu beef burgers. It's unlikely you'll encounter any screaming kids or audience members talking on their cell phones -- tickets are $35, about five times the going rate.

While that might seem like a lot just to see a movie, bear in mind that you're probably already going to be paying nearly that much for the babysitter. It seems to me that it's worthwhile for parents to make their rare nights out something to remember.

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Some folks claim they don't dream at all, others that they do every night, and quite vividly. Some of us lurk somewhere in the middle, but become very avid dreamers when we're pregnant. Weird pregnancy dreams are nothing new to the mother-to-be community, and should certainly not be something that puts fear into a new or soon-to-be mom. Still, some of the things we dream about when we're pregnant shock us, or at the very least give us pause.

Some of us feel that much about our soon-to-be children are revealed in dreams. What they'll be like, how they'll look, even what they should be named have all come up in conversations I've had with other moms who had memorable pregnancy dreams. When I was pregnant with my son I had a dream that God wrote his name in the sky. It was Avery. I didn't end up naming my son that, but it was a good name I worked with for a long time before moving on to something else. I felt like this otherwordly force was trying to tell me something. My friend actually ended up naming her daughter Avery, so I think we're all squared away--it's a great name.

Some women dream more about the birth than anything. It's not uncommon to dream of birthing an animal. I guess there's something Freudian to all that, but to me it just says you're nervous about the impending arrival of something very important and that you want it to go the way you hope it will. You know, like having a baby instead of, say, a chicken. It's not uncommon for gals to dream they birth dogs and cats and all manner of things. It's also not uncommon to dream of weird occurrences during labor. I keep dreaming, for example, that my water won't break, and that my labor will start and then stop just as the doctors attend me. Those dreams seem pretty self-explanatory, but I'm not so sure about the birthing a chicken thing.

What about you? Did you have any memorable dreams during your pregnancy? Anything truly weird and seemingly without explanation you'd like to share?

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An annual survey by Salary.com revealed that the average stay-at-home mom works an average of 94.4 hours per week, meaning that in the context of a normal 40-hour week, more than half of her time on the job is overtime.

The survey, administered yearly since 2000, also determined that in 2008, a full-time mother's annal salary would come in at $116,805, down from 2007's figure of $138,094. And just what does a family get in return for this princely sum?

Salary.com breaks a mother's job down into the following duties: housekeeper, day-care center teacher, cook, laundry machine operator, computer operator, psychologist, facilities manager, van driver, and chief executive officer.

So let me get that straight -- I am working in excess of 90 hours a week, and my salary has decreased? What gives?

The company uses a number of factors to calculate mom's paycheck, and this year added a new wrinkle: companies with fewer than 25 employees tend to offer lower salaries. Your typical American family comes in way under that "25 or more" threshold. If you think the SAHM's salary is miserly, consider this -- a working mom's job description is roughly equal to that of one who stays at home, and she only nets $68,405 for her 54.6 "mom work week."

Want to know exactly how much you're worth? You and your family can calculate your personal compensation at mom.salary.com.

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A basic tunic is flexible and chic. Layer this one over a camisole for day, or wear it bare for night. Empire waist accentuates your cleavage and deemphasizes your tummy -- perfect for the mom body.

Forever21 V-neck tunic, $15.80.

Pair your tunic with these straight-leg, mid-rise jeans. The dark rinse makes them appropriate for day or evening, and the mid-rise flatters your backside and keeps you covered.

Old Navy "Flirt" jeans, $29.50 currently $25.00.

While you're at Old Navy, grab a pair of flats; these are perfect for running errands and running after kids, with a sturdy rubber sole and just enough embellishment to make them really fun to wear.

Old Navy bauble ballet flats, $24.50 currently $9.50. Available in six colors.