When I married the first time, I was quite young and didn't think twice about taking my husband's last name as my own. That's what a woman does when she marries, right? But when I married again nearly 20 years later, I didn't even consider taking my new husband's name. Well, maybe I considered it. But after realizing that he didn't care what I called myself, I knew that I would always and forever be a Maple. What we didn't discuss during those pre-marital negotiations was him taking my last name.
I don't think he would have done it even if I had suggested it, but there are men who would - and do - happily change their last names to that of their wives. There are no real statistics on the subject, but anecdotal evidence suggests that this might even be a trend. And while this trend my seem terribly modern to some, it was actually not uncommon in 14th and 15th century England for men to take their wives' last names if hers was more prominent.
These days, I imagine a man would have a better reason than popularity to exchange the name he was born with for his wife's. Maybe hers is easier to pronounce. Maybe a hyphenated version of both their names would be long and awkward. Or maybe he just likes her name better. I understand why couples want to have the same last name - to show they are united as a family and for the sake of the children. But I see no reason why it must be his last name. Do you?
Three years ago, Lindsay Burke didn't know about abusive relationships and it cost her her life. She was killed by her boyfriend who was convicted of first-degree murder and sentenced to life in prison. Lindsay Burke may not have recognized the signs or known what to do, but other teens will, thanks to a new law that bears her name.
The Lindsay Ann Burke Act requires that the topic of dating violence be a part of the health courses in all public middle and high schools. "You teach sex ed, you teach `don't do drugs,' you teach `don't drink,' you should also be teaching `don't be a victim of domestic violence,'" said Rhode Island Attorney General Patrick Lynch who helped get the act passed by the legislature.
"If this could happen to her, this could happen to anyone," said Lindsay's mother, Ann Burke. Burke and her husband, Chris, started the campaign to pass the new law. Texas also has a requirement to include awareness of dating violence and several other states encourage it, but Rhode Island's law goes the furthest, requiring the subject be taught annually from seventh grade through twelfth.
Personally, I can't imagine anyone who wants to be considered human hurting another, especially one they care about, but I know it happens. I'd also like to think my kids will be strong enough -- physically and mentally -- to not permit such treatment. I also know, however, that strength is worthless without training, so I'm all in favor of this. I hope that when my kids get to middle school, this will be a part of their classes too.
New relationships are exciting and overflowing with romance. But as the years pass, couples are less likely to spend time on nurturing this side of their relationship. Throw in a couple of busy kids, pets, and two full time jobs, and well ... who has time for candlelight dinners?
But a recent poll of 4,000 couples found that the key to a happy partnership is romance. Specifically, couples who considered themselves happy or very happy said that the secret to a happy marriage includes four hugs a day and seven nights together a month, including two dinner dates. Happy couples also enjoy:
two romantic walks a month
one kid-free night to the bar or movies
one gift a month, of flowers or something different
one night alone, away from each other
Am I the only one feeling a little pressure here? Two dinner dates, two romantic walks, one gift, and a trip to the movies every month? I'm not even sure we could afford all that romance! But in all seriousness, what this study does point out is that affection, romance, and just letting your partner know that they are one of the most important pieces of your busy life is key to a long, happy marriage.
Money is a hot-button issue in many relationships, and when one spouse is more dedicated to the mall than their marriage it can spell disaster. Being married to an over-spender can result in debt and divorce, according to psychologists. And don't think the faltering economy will stop them -- a survey of 1,000 households recently released by HSBC Bank USA revealed that more than half had splurged on something in the recent past, and many did so just because it felt good.
If you're married to someone with "gotta have it" syndrome, you can save your marriage if you tackle the problem together. The first step, experts say, is recognizing that the behavior does have an underlying cause. Most compulsive shoppers are dealing with issues that range from feeling neglected to low self-esteem. Then sit down together, analyze your partner's spending triggers, and write down a plan of attack.
I'm the first one to take out my credit card, but my husband and I agreed to set -- and stick to -- a strict budget this year. We also combined our checking accounts for the first time in our marriage. Knowing I'm accountable to him makes it a lot easier to ask myself, "do I really need that?"
Are you the thrifty one, or do you buy impulsively in spite of your budget?
Nine years old is a good age to play jump-rope, dress up dolls, and maybe, just maybe, start thinking about boys as something other than totally gross. Wedding plans should be strictly the fairytales and pumpkin kind and definitely not the actual type. Unfortunately, there are those who think that nine is the perfect age for a young girl to get married.
In Britain, thousands of young girls, as young as nine, are being forced into marriages and schools are being asked to be ever more vigilant for children at risk and who suddenly stop showing up. "The youngest child we have dealt with was nine years old," said Jasvinder Sanghera, director of Karma Nirvana, a national telephone helpline for girls forced into marriage. "The girl told her teacher she was going to be forced to marry someone and initially she was not believed." Thankfully, the girl was eventually placed into foster care.
The problem is bad enough that the government operates a Forced Marriage Unit, jointly funded by the Home Office and Foreign Office. I don't know what kind of parent thinks its okay for a nine-year-old to get married. I have a thirteen-year-old niece and there's no way I would want her to miss out on her life just to satisfy some dirty old man's need to marry.
I guess my husband and I are old-fashioned. A recent survey found that men -- long thought to be in charge of the remote control -- are starting to hand control of the TV over to women. But at our house, unless it's Thursday night, our clicker has his name on it.
But despite our traditional roles -- he brings home the bacon, I fry it up ... well ... usually in the microwave -- our decision-making process about issues big and small is a little more modern. We're partners, plain and simple.
According to the same survey mentioned above, women are taking the lead in family decision making. Forty three percent reported that they pay the bills, plan weekend activities, decide what to watch, and choose big ticket purchases, while only 26% of men reported making those decisions. What surprised researchers was that, although it wasn't a choice on the survey, 31% of couples volunteered that they made those decisions together.
That's, perhaps, my favorite part of this survey. Marriage is a lot more fun not when you finally get to hold the remote (or be in charge), but when you can find common ground for sharing experiences together.
Ah, the rumor mill. It was a'buzzin' with the notion that recent newlywed Mariah Carey is pregnant. Then it went on to buzz that Carey would announce her pregnancy on an upcoming stint with talk show guru Oprah Winfrey. Well, it looks like that ain't so, on any level.
According to Oprah's flack, the Butterfly singer has no plans spilling the beans on her show. The spokesperson did not make any statement as to verify if Carey is pregnant. The Glitter star's reps have been denying her pregnancy ever since she married Nick Cannon in a whirlwind.
Mimi certainly doesn't look pregnant. The singer has been quick to reveal her latest attempts at having the perfect body, which have been successful. Perhaps marriage--and maybe even pregnancy--have been good to her. Time, not the media, will tell.
These days, you can get just about anything on-line. Apparently, "just about anything" includes a sperm donor. I don't know how legitimate this is, but given the purchases made by the Golden Palace Casino, and the recent auctions for young women's virginity, it certainly could be real, even if it isn't. A blogger has decided that she's ready to have a baby and, not having a handy man around the house, has posted on her blog looking for one.
Amy Jones says she is twenty-six years old, has "most of a PhD in Biophysics and will be finishing my JD before the child is born" and will be able to work from home, for the most part, once she returns to work. Going by the picture posted (which may or may not be of the young lady in question), I would think she would have little or no trouble finding a "sperm donor" in the real world, without putting it all out there on the internet. It strikes me as a little sensationalist and unnecessary.
Further, if she is really interested in raising a child (and not just some hot unprotected sex), why not consider adopting? Then she wouldn't have to go through nine months of discomfort at best and sheer hell at worst. Even if she is desperate for a genetic connection, at twenty-six, she's still got at least a dozen years to find a partner to help raise the kid. I'm not saying two parents are necessary, but it sure makes it a lot easier. Truth be told, I'm not sure what to think of this. What say you?
Kate Moss has been known for a lot of things. In the eighties she was the face of the Calvin Klein fragrance Obsession. She was a supermodel. She was constantly embattled over her (lack of) weight. Then she had a child, and normalcy returned, until she was constantly in the spotlight for drugs and alleged partying ways.
In fact, rumor had it that Kate split from her most recent boyfriend, rocker Jamie Hince, because of her lifestyle. Not so, insists a source, who claims the real reason the couple split is that Moss was ready to become a mom again. According to the source the supermodel was keen to add to her family, which already consists of five-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.
So maybe Kate really is like the rest of us? She wanted a commitment, couldn't get one from the guy--he wanted to focus on his band--and perhaps she felt the clock ticking. Or not. I mean, this woman carries handbags that are worth more than my rent. But hey, you gotta feel for a woman who, if it's true, puts her family (and her biological needs) first. Good luck, Kate!
Kate's no stranger to the camera. Perhaps if she succeeds in becoming a mom again, she can join the ranks of these pregnant cover girls:
We all, I'm sure, do our best to treat our children fairly and equally. It is, really, the right thing to do. We don't give one kid a pony for their birthday and the other a pair of socks, we don't take one on vacation and leave the other with the babysitter, and we don't buy one kid a brand new sports car and the other a used bike. Well, one couple has made a video asking that the state do the same.
Sam and Julia Thoron have been married for nearly half a century and have raised three children. One of them happens to be gay, but that doesn't mean it's okay to let the other two get married while taking away the right of the third to do so. California's proposition 8 would do just that -- take away the right of thousands of parent's sons and daughters to get married. In the video, Julia asks "please don't eliminate that right -- for anyone's family."
It had to take a lot of guts -- and love -- for this couple to make that video. But then, that's the sort of thing parents do for their kids. Hopefully, all the other parents in the state will think about their own children and not vote to take away their right to marry this November.
Models, especially those who parade around in bikinis and their underwear for a living, need to be selective when it comes to tattoos. Heidi Klum, perhaps one of the only remaining supermodel forces, is no exception. Klum's tattoo is on her arm, and recent exposure, I suppose, prompted a response from the model.
Klum recently revealed details about her "new" tattoo, which actually isn't that new at all. Klum, who says she's had the tattoo since May, says the tattoo was part of a marriage ceremony to her husband, Seal, whom she reweds each year. The tattoo also has three little stars, each which bears the initials of one of her three children.
In my book, getting a tattoo in May counts as a new tattoo. Also, it may sound strange for "tattoo" and "family" to appear in the same sentence, but, in the modern world, not really. I would caution Heidi against getting the name of a loved one tattooed on her, though--a symbol is ok, but if we haven't learned anything from Johny Depp's "Winona" tattoo then we need to, right now. Great idea for an inventive mother's day gift, though!
Many of you probably know Jamie Oliver. He is, among other things, one of the many chefs whose work is showcased on The Food Network and who enjoys the title Naked Chef. I don't know much about him, so I am not sure where he gets that title, except hat he wrote the book of the same name, but it certainly makes me want to tune in to his programming.
Well, Oliver and wife Jools (Juliette Norton) are apparently in the family way again. Jamie and his wife Jools are allegedly expecting the third child together. The couple currently has two girls, Poppy Honey and Daisy Boo, and it is also alleged that Jamie is keen for the third child to be a boy. In fact, according to the source, he's so desperate for a boy he'd be wiling to adopt to get one.
As the parent of a boy, I highly recommend it. It's great. That said, I am also about to become mom to a little girl, and I think that's the most exciting thing ever. There is a fifty/fifty chance that a child will be a girl or a boy, so it's tough to try to rationalize the sex of your unborn child one way or the other. Perhaps it is also not so wise to get your hopes up--and make them public--in case you happen to be wrong about what's lurking in that womb. I'm sure Jamie will be thrilled regardless of what his new child turns out to be.
Author Candace Bushnell seems to think so. Just when the world may have thought it'd had enough of SATC after the recent move to the big screen, and just when Gossip Girl lost its minimal intrigue, sights have been set to unleash a teen version of the HBO cult favorite. The question is not whether or not we need a teen SATC, but whether or not we want one.
I guess we do, at least in print. Author Bushnell, who brought us the original SATC is set to launch a series aimed at teens starting in 2010. They will serve as prequels to the well-known wonders of Carrie Bradshaw. The books will be part of The Carrie Diaries and will follow Bradshaw through her teen years as she struggles with romance and fashion. Yawn!
Well, if it's recycled product you want, then perhaps it'll be recycled product you get--at least it sounds that way. Of course, I was one with a penchant for reading the Sweet Valley High series when I was a kid so perhaps these Carrie Diaries is really just SVH for the modern set.
Thoughts? Would you read these books--and would you let your teen? I read the SVH series almost every single one, and I lived to tell about it!
Move over "John & Kate Plus 8." You ain't got nothin' on the Duggar family. For those of you unfamiliar with the Duggars (as I was), they're a family of nineteen, seventeen of which are the children. And now, according to reports, they're being given their own television show.
Like it or not the world has yet to see the last of reality television. The Duggars are to get their own stint in the world of reality showing what it's like not only to have seventeen kids (do I need a reality show to imagine what that's like?) but also what it's like to travel the talk show circuit and bathe in the limelight of stardom through (constant) procreation.
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What's more, the show will follow the family as they grow--that's right, Mom Michelle is expecting another child! That will make enough for two baseball teams. What could we learn from the Duggars? I'm not really sure, but the Discovery Channel will give us the opportunity to find out. Will you watch the show, or are you too wrapped up in your own kids to try to watch someone else manage ALL of theirs?
When I married the first time, I was quite young and didn't think twice about taking my husband's last name as my own. That's what a woman does when she marries, right? But when I married again nearly 20 years later, I didn't even consider taking my new husband's name. Well, maybe I considered it. But after realizing that he didn't care what I called myself, I knew that I would always and forever be a Maple. What we didn't discuss during those pre-marital negotiations was him taking my last name. 
Three years ago, Lindsay Burke didn't know about abusive relationships and it cost her her life. She was killed by her boyfriend who was convicted of first-degree murder and sentenced to life in prison. Lindsay Burke may not have recognized the signs or known what to do, but other teens will, thanks to 
New relationships are exciting and overflowing with romance. But as the years pass, couples are less likely to spend time on nurturing this side of their relationship. Throw in a couple of busy kids, pets, and two full time jobs, and well ... who has time for candlelight dinners?
Money is a hot-button issue in many relationships, and when one spouse is more dedicated to the mall than their marriage it can spell disaster.
Nine years old is a good age to play jump-rope, dress up dolls, and maybe, just maybe, start thinking about boys as something other than totally gross. Wedding plans should be strictly the fairytales and pumpkin kind and definitely not the actual type. Unfortunately, there are those who think that nine is the perfect age for 
I guess my husband and I are old-fashioned. A recent survey found that men -- long thought to be in charge of the remote control -- are starting to hand control of the TV over to women. But at our house, unless it's Thursday night, our clicker has his name on it. 
These days, you can get just about anything on-line. Apparently, "just about anything" includes a sperm donor. I don't know how legitimate this is, but given the purchases made by the 
Move over "John & Kate Plus 8." You ain't got nothin' on the Duggar family. For those of you unfamiliar with the Duggars (as I was), they're a family of nineteen, seventeen of which are the children. And now, according to reports, they're being given their own 
